Theatre Review

Another year, another unhealthy amount of shows. Last year saw 29 shows this year I had tickets for 39 shows but had 5x fails. So in total I saw a record 34 shows in 12 months. This post gives my annual ranking. This is going to be a long one so get a cuppa…

Rankings

34) Jesus Christ Superstar

Jesus Christ Superstar tells the story of biblical Jesus in the final days leading up to his crucifixion. A rock opera by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, the musical has no spoken dialogue and is sometimes considered a modern rock-opera.

Absolutely pants. I honestly don’t know why I bought a ticket to this. It was bad in every single way and got a score of 21 out of 100. The most painful aspect of the show was that Judas couldn’t sing. The best was probably Julian Clary suddenly appearing to do a little number. The funniest was a lady brought in an industrial sized bag of popcorn (too loud a snack for theatre) and was chomping through it during the crucifixion scene. Very odd, but at that point I’d given up on the show. Bad bad bad.

33) Titanic The Musical

Based on real people aboard the most legendary ship in the world, Titanic The Musical is a stunning and stirring production focusing on the hopes, dreams and aspirations of her passengers who each boarded with stories and personal ambitions of their own. All innocently unaware of the fate awaiting them, the Third Class immigrants dream of a better life in America, the Second Class imagine they too can join the lifestyles of the rich and famous, whilst the millionaire Barons of the First Class anticipate legacies lasting forever.

Yes, you read that right. Titanic the musical. I couldn’t help myself and had to go see it. It was as much of a disaster as you would expect. The characters were insanely one dimensional and no song was even close to being memorable. I will say the ending of the show was somewhat nicely done when it commemorated the dead. For this it got into the 60+ score range.

32) Phantasmagoria

Mehrosh, a celebrated student activist has been invited to an isolated house in the middle of a forest to take part in a debate with a powerful political adversary from the ruling party. It’s a chance to make her voice heard. Fearful of the coming conflict, surrounded by eerie shadows and mysterious noises, and increasingly uncertain of what she is told, Mehrosh starts to feel a growing paranoia that the people around her are not what they seem…

Not as hard hitting as you would hope. Interesting premise, enjoyed a different setting than the usual but ultimately it feel a bit flat for me. It was delayed for a while for some reason, I think technical problems. Could be a great show but needs a bit more work.

31) The Drifters Girl

Discover the remarkable story of The Drifters and the truth about the woman who made them. From the highs of hit records to the lows of legal battles and personal tragedy, Faye Treadwell is the legendary manager of The Drifters who refused to give up on the group she loved.

Very routine. So similar to many of the similar themed musicals and not distinctive in the slightest. Just fine.

30) Robin Ince

Award-winning comedian and bibliomaniac, Robin Ince, takes audiences on a celebratory tour of the places books can take us, and of the ideas that can make wonder and widen the sky. Robin was the Bookseller’s Association 2022 Author of the Year. The Times Literary Supplement described Bibliomaniac as ‘joyous, irreverent – liberating and life-affirming’ while Eric Idle said ‘one of the most delightful books I have ever read… always making me laugh’. Expect a chaos of words and ideas, love and delight. And also a very long reading list.

Edinburgh Fringe show. Was a preview and very empty in the middle of the day. Was quite touching in its own way but not great.

29) The Beekeeper of Aleppo

Nuri is a beekeeper; his wife, Afra, an artist. They live a simple life, rich in family and friends, in the beautiful Syrian city of Aleppo – until the unthinkable happens. When all they care for is destroyed by war, they are forced to escape.

My notes for this are a bit scattergun. It’s a decent representation of male grief but I wasn’t catastrophically moved as I hoped I would be. Dare I say it was a tiny bit boring. I wrote down there was a lady explaining each scene to her friend which sounds painful but thankfully no longer have any memory of this event!

28) Uncanny

Join Danny Robins and his team of experts for a terrifying and thought provoking evening, featuring chilling new real-life stories of the supernatural, experienced by ordinary people from ordinary places, brought to life on stage through thrilling theatrical invention, using exquisite sound, projection and video design.

I don’t know the podcast or TV show at all but thought it looked like a fun thing to see with my mate who likes macabre things. The show was a little odd in that some parts were really effective and well put together and some other parts just didn’t work. The audience participation sections were painful and drawn out. The ending was very abrupt too. Odd.

27) Dan Nightingale

I wasn’t expecting it to be good but you know what… it was better than I expected. Don’t know him that well but did have a chuckle. Support acts were also pretty solid.

26) John Robins

Edinburgh Comedy Award winning comedian and ARIA award-winning broadcaster John Robins embarks on his first stand-up tour since 2019.

Was a bit tired for this but it was a bit disappointing. Positive message but just didn’t live up to my expectations. His radio show with Elis James is still great though.

25) Macbeth

A struggling and divided nation, tearing itself apart. So, when the Macbeths see their chance at the crown, why shouldn’t they take it?

Atmospheric production. Kinda set in a sort of 1970’s Sci-Fi style house. Acting was good but somewhat distracted by a pair of Chinese students sat next to me playing around on their phone, which was on full brightness mode. They ended up leaving halfway through.

24) Noises Off

Renowned for being a play within a play, Noises Off follows the hilarious horseplay of a touring theatre group as they act out their own play - Nothing On. The play’s three acts consist of the final rehearsals, backstage during the opening night and the last matinee. As expected, of course, things don’t exactly go as planned. Join the cast as they take on the chaos, and enjoy plenty of laughs along the way!

Very much slapstick humour. I think it is quite impressively staged with lots of moving parts and certainly admirable to stage such chaos. Would say it’s a bit throwaway though.

23) Tom Allen

Show was a bit by the numbers. Good audience interaction. Other than that the jokes are rehashes from what you might of heard before and the support was weak.

22) Tyne Travel

Join these two comedians as they delve into the lesser-known history of the North East & learn & laugh on this incredible journey.

I don’t listen to this podcast but one of the guests is a historian I enjoy so thought I’d check it out. Was a tiny bit too scripted an experience which made some parts feel a bit stilted but overall was interesting and learned some bits and bobs about North East history I did not know before.

21) Nell Gwynn

1660, London. King Charles II has ascended to the throne with a love of all things extravagant and sexy. Over at Drury Lane, theatregoers are finding themselves stirred by young orange-seller turned actress Nell Gwynn!

A new theatre to visit and also an amateur production. You know what… the cast were really quite good. I had listened to a podcast about Nell Gwynn so knew her story in advance but quite enjoyed this. Nothing felt overly cheap about the production. Very interesting historical character too.

20) The Mousetrap

As news spreads of a murder in London, a group of seven strangers find themselves snowed in at a remote countryside guesthouse. When a police sergeant arrives, the guests discover – to their horror – that a killer is in their midst! One by one, the suspicious characters reveal their sordid pasts. Which one is the murderer? Who will be their next victim? Can you solve this world-famous mystery for yourself?

Oddly I’d never seen the world’s longest running play. Checked it off this year though. My notes say “functional” and enjoying the extravagant Italian character who reminded me of Cosmo from Singing in the Rain. Fine, not special.

19) And then there were none

As news spreads of a murder in London, a group of seven strangers find themselves snowed in at a remote countryside guesthouse. When a police sergeant arrives, the guests discover – t

Agatha Christie play number 2! This was better, I didn’t guess the end. There was some drama with a lady passing out in the front row but the show did not stop as she got wheeled out. The hanging scene was visually quite arresting and somewhat dangerous to perform. Probably more interesting than the Mousetrap to see.

18) Pride and Prejudice* (sort of)

Pride and Prejudice* (*sort of) is a unique and audacious retelling of Jane Austen’s most iconic love story. Men, money and microphones will be fought over in this irreverent but affectionate adaptation where the stakes couldn’t be higher when it comes to romance.

In my notes I have down that there was only 5 cast members for this show. I seem to think it was funnier than expected. Good in a light entertainment way. Favourite joke had the punchline of “Jane Aust-bin” if that gives you a clue to the humour involved. Enjoyable evening out. Bit forgettable.

17) Project Dictator

Their choice? To die on stage - or off it. Hahaha. It’s the clown show about totalitarianism. We are back in a critically-acclaimed, beautiful and bonkers world premiere, informed and inspired by conversations with international artists living under authoritarian regimes.

Can imagine this show is not for everyone. It was almost like two shows almost jarringly squished together. The first was uncomfortable but funny, the second very poignant but a bit harrowing. To be honest I should have scored this higher but it is what it is. Interesting show may be more than entertaining.

Perhaps it’s lower as I had an annoying patron next to me. He made some comments when I sat down because he was a big chap and felt squished so wanted me to move my legs so he felt more comfortable. Throughout the show he also decided he would be the most vocal audience member to participate in the show. Not the worst audience member of the year but a tiny bit irksome.

16) King and I

The story follows Anna, a widow, and her son as they travel to Bangkok, where Anna has been assigned as a tutor to the King’s children. Anna soon finds herself having cultural clashes and differences with the King whilst endearing herself to both the children and the king’s many wives.

I had my first bout of COVID immediately after this show. So maybe it tried to kill me. The show was solid but not life changing. I know there was a puppet scene that was exceptional though and one of the better scenes of theatre of the entire year.

15) Best Man

Cathal is 30, flirty, and having a breakdown at his best friend’s wedding. A dark comedy about relationships, regrets and getting left behind. A best-man speech that goes completely off the rails, and you’re in the congregation at the wedding watching it all unfold.

1 man show at the Fringe. Was awkward on purpose but very funny. Loads of audience participation. I got picked on, naturally, but I think my quip was solid enough as a reply. Main actor was great. On in the middle of the day, probably deserved a better slot.

14) Kidnapped

This riotous re-telling of Robert Louis Stevenson’s adventure novella is jam-packed with 20th century pop music and 18th century romance. Performed by a dynamic ensemble of actor-musicians, Kidnapped is a colourful coming-of-age story - shot-through with Stevenson’s trademark blend of poetry, humour and heart.

We are now in the 80+ score range. This had a good spirit, good music and in a nice venue. A good adventure.

13) Heathers

Welcome to Westerberg High where Veronica Sawyer is just another nobody dreaming of a better day. But when she joins the beautiful and impossibly cruel Heathers and her dreams of popularity may finally come true, mysterious teen rebel JD teaches her that it might kill to be a nobody, but it is murder being a somebody…

Visited Sunderland Empire Theatre for this which was a new experience. I love visiting new theatres. Everyone was very dressed up for this which I hadn’t banked on. The pub next door was also a great find. Show was just a lot of fun. It didn’t leave a deep lasting moving impression on me but was solid at every level.

12) 2:22: A Ghost Story

Jenny believes her new home is haunted, but her husband Sam isn’t having any of it. They argue with their first dinner guests, old friend Lauren and new partner Ben. Can the dead really walk again? Belief and scepticism clash, but something feels strange and frightening, and that something is getting closer. So they’re going to stay up until 2:22….and then they’ll know.

I guessed the ending! This made me very smug with my mate afterwards. There were quite a few jump scares and I see why it is very popular. It won’t be the first time I write this but this also felt very ‘London’ in its premise and characters.

11) Bodyguard

Former Secret Service agent turned bodyguard, Frank Farmer, is hired to protect superstar Rachel Marron from an unknown stalker. Each expects to be in charge – what they don’t expect is to fall in love.

Complete cheese. The characters are disturbingly one dimensional and barely feel human but it was still a right laugh and the music is fab!

They even had a warning about people singing along, given this was the show that famously got folk in trouble. Some tough songs to not sing along too though.

10) Strategic Love Play

So they’ve both swiped right. Now they’re meeting for the first time. Facing each other. As if that’s a normal thing to do. But she’s being uncomfortable, and he’s a total bore. The vibe is horrific and the banter is even worse. But something is keeping them in their seats. Something is making them stay.

I found this somewhat triggering as the lead female character seemed somewhat narcissistic. The couple in the play also feel very ‘London’. I’m not sure how relatable the show will feel if you haven’t lived there. The ending was not happy either but the show felt like a very interesting gut punch. It was sad and funny in a good way.

9) The Motive and the Cue

1964: Richard Burton, newly married to Elizabeth Taylor, is to play the title role in an experimental new Broadway production of Hamlet under John Gielgud’s exacting direction. But as rehearsals progress, two ages of theatre collide and the collaboration between actor and director soon threatens to unravel.

Incredibly well acted, wonderfully put together and a lot of Hamlet lines. The show was another high quality production from the National Theatre. Packed house and great show.

Looks like it scooped up some awards. Will be back in 2024 no doubt for a longer run!

8) Dirty Dancing

Seen by millions across the globe this worldwide smash hit tells the classic story of Baby and Johnny, two fiercely independent young spirits from different worlds, who come together in what will be the most challenging and triumphant summer of their lives.

I’ve not seen the movie so I’m not sure what I was expecting really but it was very interesting to be in an audience of women wolf whistling the male actor. I was a bit perplexed that Johnny seemed a very adult man while Baby seemed suspiciously young for a romance but the rest of the crowd seemed unperturbed by it. Overall, it was a slab of cheese but enjoyable nonetheless.

7) Hello Kitty Must Die

You may think Fiona Yu is just another Hello Kitty stereotype… but you’d be dead wrong. From the Tony-winning producer of Six comes an outrageously irreverent world premiere musical mash-up of Asian feminism with a killer score. Fiona Yu is a high achieving, but highly disillusioned Chinese-American woman. She is fed up with the stereotypes forced onto her by a white, patriarchal society – namely that she is the human embodiment of a speechless cartoon feline. Based on the cult novel by Angela S Choi, this musical is a ruthless combination of sex, violence, and stilettos.

Best of the Fringe shows I saw. Had elements of Six but a bit more spiky. Songs were good, plot exciting and all crammed into an atmospheric little venue. Good stuff.

6) The Witches

Everything you know about witches is wrong. Forget the pointy hats and broomsticks: they’re the most dangerous creatures on earth. And now they’ve come up with their most evil plan yet.

The first of my 90+ reviews. Only gold from here on out.

This is still running until the end of Jan! Last thing I saw (so maybe a tad recency bias). It had the best solo performer (Mr Stringer was a tour de force!) who was magnificent. Some of the show was a little baggy but still a wonderfully put together show. Great over festive period. To cap off my evening I also shared the Embankment station platform with 6 mice which felt very thematic.

5) Mind Mangler

Join the ‘Mind Mangler’ as he returns to the stage following a disappointing two-night run at the Luton Holiday Inn conference centre, suite 2b. His new two-man show solo spectacular is predicted to spiral into chaos as he attempts to read your mind…

Unexpected surprise this one! Genuinely had a lot of full throated laughs throughout. I wrote down “chortles” and “hilarious” in my notes so I clearly enjoyed it. Wasn’t expecting a lot but brilliantly put together. Lots of comedies did well in my scoring this year!

4) The Unfriend

While on holiday Peter and Debbie befriend Elsa: a lusty, Trump-loving widow from Denver, USA. She’s less than woke but kind of wonderful, so they agree to stay in touch - because no one ever really does, do they? When Elsa invites herself to stay with the family a few months later, they decide to look her up online. But it’s too late: on learning the truth about Elsa Jean Krakowski, the deadly danger is already on a flight to London! What began as a casual holiday friendship is suddenly a threat to all their lives. Peter and Debbie now face the ultimate challenge of the modern world - how do you protect all that you love from mortal peril without seeming a bit impolite? Because guess who’s coming… to MURDER.

This feels like a very long time ago. I know from my notes I had a pillar in the way due to me buying some cheapo seats. I’d never been to this theatre and I noted it had a very charming bar area, I think underground too. The show was funny and with so much League of Gentlemen influence I’m not so shocked. I believe it is coming back with different actors this year and worth seeing. Very good entertainment.

3) Moulin Rouge

Welcome to Moulin Rouge! The Musical. Baz Luhrmann’s revolutionary film comes to life onstage and is now playing in London’s West End. The Piccadilly Theatre has been transformed into a world of splendour and romance, of eye-popping excess, of glitz, grandeur, and glory! A world where Bohemians and aristocrats rub elbows and revel in electrifying enchantment.

Epic stage production. Maybe the most lavish I’ve seen… ever? I enjoyed the movie so this was a blast. It had some odd musical choices thrown in. Even had a Postal Service song which was very unexpected but appreciated!

2) Tim Key: Mulberry

Tim Key (Alan Partridge, The Witchfinder, Tim Key’s Late Night Poetry Programme) is back with an all-new show. Ruminations about the great indoors with a bit of stamping around. Velour tracksuit, continental lagers, some “poetry”.

Firstly, it was hilarious. As you might expect. It was also quite interesting to hear a whole show reflecting on COVID. Felt like I momentarily went back there. There was some excellent crowd interaction with a local providing some comedy gold. The staging was also unexpectedly delightful.

I have not read the accompanying book but it looks beautiful.

1) I, Daniel Blake

Dan is a carpenter. A Geordie through and through. Just on the mend after a heart attack. Katie has just arrived from London. Finally got a council house for her and the kids. A fresh start. I, Daniel Blake is one of the most important stories of a generation. A glimpse behind the headlines and the stark reality of what happens when the political system is stacked against you. With 14.5 million* people living in poverty in the UK, this is not fiction. It is reality.

Given I’m a Geordie maybe this pulled at the heart strings but it was extremely powerful and emotional. The baked beans scene (if you’ve seen the movie you’ll know) was brutal and the most visceral moment in theatre all year. The actual actor who played Daniel Blake in the movie was in the audience when I saw it too. Overall, completely brilliant and moving a 96/100 score.

Honourable mention: Shows I missed

I had 5 tickets for shows I could not attend. These were two shows at Edinburgh Fringe (‘Ben Hart: Jadoo’ & ‘Janine Harouni’ stand-up show) that were culled due to some technical issues delaying the show and meaning I’d miss my train so had to be sacrificed. ‘The Commitments’ was cut due to public transport issues meaning I’d miss the start. ‘Sh*g Married Annoyed’ work in progress show I had to ditch due to work commitments and finally ‘42nd Street’ due to bog standard illness. I already have a lot of tickets booked in so lets hope I can miss less in 2024.

What is next?

I have already quite a lot of tickets in the bag for next year. So I am predicting another 20+ show year. A handful I’m excited about:

• Spirited Away I hope is as good as My Neighbour Totoro was!
• I’ve heard good things about Hadestown
• I’ll see Everybody’s Talking About Jamie for the first time too.